Sunday, January 18, 2009

A Million Miles Away

In the months, weeks, and days prior to going "home" you can picture in your mind, being there.

And it's a million miles away.
And you can barely remember what the air smells like there, or the taste of the water.

And then you go.
And there you are.
You are here, you have arrived.

The city looks the same.
Your family and friends got older, and thinner, and fatter, and new hairstyles.
And all the kids got bigger, and smarter, and now some are taller than you are.

And you take it all in. And you let it all out. And you enjoy it for all it's worth and know it won't be long before you leave and it will only be a vision in your mind again.

Then you are back.
Back to your new life.
And it is nice, and it is different.
And the weather is beautiful.
And you take it all in.

And you wonder if you really ever went home, or if it was all just a surreal dream.



Danielle said...

Thank you for this one, just the title made me teary-eyed. I definitely imagine myself "home" often. Even though I have no plans to go back, I can just picture myself sitting across the kitchen table from my mom, just like it is real. Such a mixture of emotions!

elsja said...

Exactly how I feel... sometimes I'm not sure which place is really my home anymore.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Danielle- It is so weird being there and now being back. It's almost like it never happened, well except for the American Express bill.

Elsja- I don't have that problem, the U.S. still feels like home to me as of now. You are a lucky girl.

South Beach Girl said...

"Your friends got older" hmmm.

Rassles said...

Is it really home now? Which home is more home-ish? Is it where you live, or where you from? Or do you just have two homes?

It's a dilemma, is it not?

Rassles said...

So I just read the comments and realize that you'd already answered those questions.

So I guess you have two homes, which is tearing, but lucky.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

South Beach Girl- Finally you show your face on here, I love it! You certainly don't fit into that older category, you're the ageless friend.

Rassles- Righto, it's even confusing for me-- but yes, I'd say (as I told my 3 & 5 yr. olds) we are "lucky" to live in 2 places... and after my visit home I feel like I really do. Sweeet.

Marvin the Martian said...

Just a dream, that's all any of this is. ;-) I'm glad it was a nice one.

Erin said...

Oh boy can I relate! I have a blog post in draft about this very topic. I will finish it shortly I imagine. I envy your situation in that you still have your home there. I really wish I still had a permanent base there, of our own. But I'm glad this feels more like home to you now. I feel the same. :-)

A Free Man said...

I like that you put home in quotation marks. I can only really speak of home using that punctuation.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Marvin- Hi!

Erin- I know, going home to our house was great-- I can't imagine how different our trip would have been without it!

Freeman- Yep, I guess that's how it goes.

blue house mom said...

Amazing how that first trip back feels. And how that credit card bill feels. How many pages thick was it???? Can't even remember how thick ours was. Could it be cause I spread it across a few? Hmmm. Maybe! But "home" is where I have the bulk of my friends -- which is Sydney now after 2 years, but 'home' is still Chicago where the parents/grandparents are. How strange is that?

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Blue House Mom- Yeah, my husband was really nice about it, he cheered me on, commending me for helping the U.S. economy.

cheekyboyngirl said...

I also live in OZ with my husbands job!! It's been almost 2 years and I am VERY at home now in Australia. I looked forward to my first trip "HOME" in the end of that trip it was bittersweet. I was sad to leave, but happy to get back to "MY LIFE" and that was now in Australia. I will be very sad to leave Australia when it's time now. I think it takes a while to feel blessed to have two "HOMES"

nursemyra said...

I've lived in Australia so long that I've nearly forgotten I once had a home in New Zealand.....

Gypsy said...


JPCK said...

How true! It didn't take long after I returned to the US to realize that everything, well...stayed the same really. Time passes, pounds add up, wrinkles say hello, addresses change - and I realized the only thing that REALLY changed
--Just another Florida Girl

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Nursemyra- Well I guess you really know where "home" is. Lucky.

Gypsy- Thanks!

JPCK- Thanks for coming by. Are you back in FL again?

Bluestreak said...

Oh Floridagirl, you know I'm with you on this one. Love this post.

Miss Fi said...

Welcome home.

"If you can't be with the one you love honey, love the one you're with". This lyric only applies to countries (not people)