Thursday, August 7, 2008

Can I See Your ID?

Three years after moving to Dallas, my Florida license expired and I finally gots me a Texas drivers license. Unfortunately, a) when at long last I got it, I was nine months pregnant, and my face resembled a blowfish, and b) about a month later, I noticed the gender field on my license said "M", as in "male". Wow, sucks for me.

Eventually, I came to terms with having an ID in which I looked like Chris Farley, and due to sloppy data entry, appear to be a cross-dresser.

Today, I noticed that my drivers license, in all of its awesomeness, was missing from my wallet. I wasn't surprised, as I had recently removed lots of useless crap, and was left with stretched out card slots. Needless to say, things were a little loosey-goosey in there.

I have mixed feelings about losing my Texas drivers license. My plan was to not get an Australian license, because that's how I roll-- literally. I like to drive illegally in new places until I am busted or facing dire straits.

Looking on the bright side, this is an opportunity to embrace the newer and blonder me in an official piece of Australian documentation. And the bonus is, I will be driving legally and should I ever encounter the Deranged Rover again I will be more prepared.

It sucks that I take photographs of every useless crap day, and never snapped one of my license from hell.



STEVE said...

Hey you,
this is Steve in California again (Erika's friend in the Bay Area). This note is a little belated but I wanted you to know that your 'Jack Wagner Money' was so funny that I had to get up from my desk and walk outside laughing!!! Hilarious!! Hope you and the family are hangin tuff!

keep up the good work

floridagirlinsydney said...

Hey Steve,
Thanks for the note! And it really does look like him, right? Even funnier may be that it's actually a woman!!! ha ha.
Love to hear that you check in on me here!

Jill Stevens, Licensed Acupuncturist, Chinese Herbalist said...

Totes on the Jack Wagner thing. Or should I say Mrs. Jack Wagner? Anyway- anyone know what the H stands for in Jesus' middle name? Is it hella? or Holla? Or Challah- just misspelled? Or is it Hank or Harry? Or is it Harry Harrison? Does he have a 10 foot frog on his shoulder? Please help me find this out.

Tors said...

The H stands for Herbert, naturally. :D

BTW, you technically weren't driving illegally... I'm sure you knew that, though.

Have fun getting the new one!

Perfect Ratio said...

ZOMG, too funny!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Hey Steve (Erika's client) if you get this email and have time, would love to talk to you-- Erika can tell you why-- you can reach me at