Thursday, June 12, 2008

DeRanged Rover

I'm driving home from preschool on the highway and in front of me is this type of utility vehicle that seems pretty common in Australia, it's kind of like a pickup truck, except the walls around the truck bed are only about 6 inches high. The front of the thing looked like a Range Rover.

  by you.
This is the same type of vehicle from the back.

In the back of the truck is a very big, white dog with a muzzle on. We are on a highway... and there are practically no walls on the back of the truck! There are various pieces of small equipment in the back of the truck with the dog-- it looks like any/all of it could go flying out at any time. Enough said.

No, enough is not said, because the logo on the truck- where I am assuming it had said "Range Rover", had been altered (in a very professional way, so it looked original) to DERANGED ROVER.

And all I am thinking is, the only way anyone would believe this insanity is if I took a photo, but at 80 km/hour that may not be a good idea. And if there was going to be gun carrying Australian, this could quite possibly be him... and he may not like being photographed.

I finagled the camera out of my purse anyway, just in case should be a slow down in traffic-- this really needed to be documented for all to see. Seriously, my camera battery was dead, ugh.

I exit the highway. I usually look forward to the wait at this particular traffic light each afternoon because there's an apartment building where all the Sulpher-Crested Cockatoos come to sit on one guy's balcony and he feeds them. It's like being at some kind of freakish urban bird show.

Photo: The view from my drivers seat-- you can see the Cockatoo on the balcony in the background.

Photo: The man on his balcony with a couple of the wild Cockatoos.

A close up of the extremely loud-mouthed Sulpher-Crested Cockatoos, this bunch was on the antenna above my house.

Anyway, as I slow down to my regular bird show spot, out of no where--SMASH!

Yep, someone rear-ended me. Thankfully, everyone was fine. My car didn't even budge-- it's like a tank. I look in the rear view mirror. Seriously dude... it was the DERANGED ROVER, muzzled dog guy!

Is that insane???

Do you think it would be rude to ask him to pose with his car and dog-- so I can take a picture with my cell phone (since the other camera was dead)?

So if this all wasn't bizarre enough, the guy was like super nice. It was the most pleasant post-car accident experience I could have imagined. He explained that he had glanced down to answer his cell phone (well that wasn't very smart was it?) and oops. But he was all,.. "Take my drivers license info, here's all my contact info...blah, blah, blah". And I was thinking--- should I call the police? I can't believe I never got my Australian drivers license, what if they arrest me? I figured I'll just take his info and get the hell out of there before his dog breaks free of the muzzle and eats me and my children.

And for those of you who know my husband-- he is so funny. Since the 2-seater car he bought isn't working out for us (hmmm, why wouldn't that be a perfect car for a family with 2 small children, duh?), we had been looking to buy a more family friendly vehicle. When I called him at the office to let him know about the little incident, he basically ran out of the office to go to the Honda dealership for that new Odyssey we had been talking about-- we hadn't even test driven it, but he was ready to make a purchase.

Did I mention that everything in Australia closes by 5:30pm?

About an hour later he called me to see if we had any alcohol in the house, because he would be needing a stiff drink upon arrival. He had tried to go to the dealership, accidentally drove by it, which led him onto a highway with no exits for 20 minutes.



Jill said...

ok. first, those birds are crazy. wtf. second, your blog is my favorite blog seriously ever. i think maybe you will become famous for it, and i am not even kidding. lastly, you're DE-ranged Rover.

Ben and Natalie said...

Ahhh! I am glad it wasn't a bad accident. Life has been CRAZY over here too. Did you get my message, I finally called you back yesterday.

I found a funny website through one of my mom blogger websites, she is so funny! I am embarrased to give you the link right now, because she just featured me in her last post, I meant to give you it long before she did that but I'll procrastinate later...

Anyway, I wished she lived here and could be our funny friend,

Yessie said...

Oh damn, go get that Australian license. My hubby made me get my license within a couple of weeks of being here and I have yet to drive on my own anywhere here!

Funny I wrote a post about annoying birds on my blog today as well, except mine are plovers and they're going to be extinct soon by my hands!

I have to read more of your blog. I quickly scanned through it and saw some yummy American food that I want! Ugh! I'm waiting for my order from USAfoods to come in!

floridagirlinsydney said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tors said...

Was the guy from Darwin? Seriously, he sounds like one of ours. "Deranged Rover" indeed. hahahaha

floridagirlinsydney said...

He had a NSW license--

Tors said...

Must be a transplant, then. *g*

Corrina said...

Have you ever seen the movie Jeepers Creepers? The DERANGED ROVER made me picture the psycho mobile from that movie! LOL If you've never seen it, then please ignore this comment. :-D

floridagirlinsydney said...

Now I'll have to put Jeepers Creepers on my need to watch list. Since I only watch movies that my kids are watching over and over-- I was thinking he was like the crazy hunter guy in Open Season.

floridagirlinsydney said...

And yes Yessie-- I need to get the license already-- though apparently according to my husband you don't actually need it?

Anonymous said...

The truck in your picture is a Holden Colorado