Saturday, August 2, 2008

Grandma's in the House

My mom arrived in Sydney this morning. Picking her up at the airport, my first thought was -- there is no way in hell I'm letting her leave in two weeks.
I know it was our choice to move here, but too freaking bad.

I will prevent her from getting back on that plane.

I will slip so much flaxseed into her food, she'll need to be within ten feet of a toilet for days.

The night before her flight, I'll steal all of her dwarfishly small shoes (she wears a size 5).

If necessary, I will use force and restraints-- but knowing the old girl, she'd probably like that.

I would truly appreciate any input regarding how I can keep my mom in Australia without causing physical pain, getting arrested, or hurting any innocent animals.



SuperMindy said...

Awww I can't wait until my mom comes and visits.. I'm with you on not letting her leave..

I would suggest having the kids break down in tears every time she thinks or talks of going back.

give her some "chocolates" so she misses her flight because she can't leave the toilet.

Good luck, enjoy her while she is here. 2 weeks goes very fast

Dina said...

You kind of remind me of me when we got to Australia. I think I came close to crying the first couple of days. I was thinking what's the point of being here. I'll just have to leave again.

In the next two weeks, I will try to think of ways you can force your mom to stay.

I think the flaxseed idea is good.

Dina said...

Ah. Mindy's idea is excellent.

Use the kids!!!

Their tears will definitely stop her from going.

Anonymous said...

I can relate to all this Florida Mum. I am from Sydney Australia doing the same thing and living for next couple of years in Dallas TX. Next month I am visiting my mum in South Africa and will spend a month with her probably for the last time. No advice only make whatever time you have together "quality time". Quantity sucks right?

floridagirlinsydney said...

Hi Anonymous person from Sydney-- living in Dallas. I lived in Dallas for 4 years! I'm sure coming from Sydney, it must be absolute culture shock for you.

Would love to know...
What are you doing there?
What area are you living in?
Do you have kids?

I have a friend in Dallas who is South African I could hook you up with.

Nutmeg Reports... said...

Tell her. And use the kids.

Enjoy her visit. Moms are awesome.

Ty Gunner said...

Duct Tape- works every time!

Cecily R said...

Do you know what? It's so nice to hear that you love your mom so much!!!

Have a great visit!

Marvin the Martian said...

Hide her passport. She can't go home without that, right?

floridagirlinsydney said...

I'm loving the ideas-
Duct tape is so all purpose, though the passport scheme would be easy and quick and would probably take a while to get straightened out--
hmmmm.... I'll keep you posted on the plan.

Tors said...

How coincidental... my mom just went back to the States after visiting for the last 3 months. Too bad her visa was going to run out the next day, or I would've tried duct tape, too. :(

JD at I Do Things said...

Aw! I would shrivel up and die without my mom. I feel ya.

I agree with supermindy: Use the kids somehow. Grandmas can't resist their grandkids, right? Make them say something utterly heartbreaking and adorable, and then show her to her new room in your basement.

Good luck!

JD at I Do Things