The New Cah

We have a very bad track record in the cah (that's Australian for "car") buying department. Even if I wanted to, I would not be able to compile the pathetically long list of cars and SUV's (that's American for 4-wheel drives) that I/we have owned. Though upon further reflection, there were a few which were so fantastic, terrible, or bizarre that they deserve a shout out right about.... um... here.

So how about a little tribute now, if I pay my last respects here maybe I can have some closure on my checkered whorish car-buying ways and finally move on.
And the first award goes to:

• Best Value Car Owned By Me- 1992 Honda Prelude-- In 1995 I purchased this used with about 12,000 miles on it from my friend's friend-- well I think she was actually sleeping with him (you know who you are:). It was a sweet ride, and even though it was kind of pimped out-- white exterior, white leather interior with black piping and trim, I felt right at home in it.
• Best Free Car Owned By Me- 2001 BMW Z3-- Well since there was only one free car, it would be the obvious winner in this category. And they don't just hand these things out-- I won it for being salesperson of the year at the company I had been with for 11 years... yep, I was pretty much thinking the same thing... I rock, hard.
• Most Dangerous Car Owned By Me- 1996ish? Grand Jeep Cherokee-- This car was purchased new, and definitely goes into the What the Hell Was I Thinking category (there were a couple members in that special group). And it was the most dangerous vehicle because every time I got out of the car and went to shut the door, I got shocked! Like seriously shocked! It was crazy... and of course, painful... wtf?
• Most Ridiculous and Short-Lived Car- 2004 Lincoln Navigator-- don't know why I thought I needed this beast, which incidentally won a real award for worst reliability. This vehicle lasted 3 months with us.
• Most Practical Car Owned By Me- 2005 Honda Odyssey Touring Edition-- seriously this car is the shit. Black with tan leather. DVD player (what? do you have another way to stop the chaos?), about 50 cupholders-- alright seriously, I think there's 18 or 20. Minivan (that's American for "peoplemover") style doors which slide open, so I can stop dinging people's cars, I'm actually a better person when I'm with these doors, they complete me. I know this cars sounds like a dream-- and it is. And for the low, low price of about $23,000 (or best offer) it can all be yours-- no seriously, it's still in my driveway in Florida and it gots to go.

And sadly, these were just the ones which stood out in my mind as the really wrong or really right. I can barely even remember the boring ones, and there were plenty of those. There were the expensive German ones, which I remember fondly, but were often lacking in the cupholder department.

Oh, I almost forgot-- there was the expensive, but unreliable one (my husband's) which I sold on eBay before we moved to Australia--- in twelve hours-- cash deposited right into our bank account! I should have made it an award for Most Easily Offloaded Car.

Okay, I know this is going to be shocking, and I really was fer sure that we would not be playing musical cars here in Australia.... but guess who after one year here, went for the trade in--- well, it wasn't me. And that's because I already knew you couldn't drive two preschoolers around in a convertible with a backseat built for people with no legs. Right-- not short legs... NO legs.

My husband has a new cah. And what he doesn't know, is that I'm gonna steal it-- and listen-- DO NOT GO TELLING HIM. He thinks he's just going to take my car in to be fixed (from the DeRanged Rover accident) and I'll use the new car for a few days-- but he really should know better. And the best part is that I already let him read the draft of this post, and know he is much too busy to reread it.




So far, I think we've done a good job instilling the need to constantly change what you drive depending on your mood. Yep, you probably know what I gonna say-- start 'em young.