Friday, February 20, 2009

The Athiest's Bible

Question: What happens when you take two children with parents who are non-practicing Jews and put them in Kindergarten at a Christian-based school?

Answer: They come home asking things like, "Mommy, why did Jesus die on the cross?" And you pause for a moment with shock, and then, in a most inappropriate way reply "He died for you honey, he died for you." Judge me if you like, but what's a mom with no good answers to do? What would Jesus do?

Our preschool teacher in Florida once told me, at holiday time the Christian kids in class always go for coloring a menorah or dreidel, and the Jewish kids head straight for the Christmas trees. Even as small children, it seems we always want what we don't have.

This morning at a cafe, a couple sat on a bench outside the restaurant pointing and laughing hysterically at a book. Upon closer observation, I could see they were reading The Atheists Bible, so for obvious reasons I felt it necessary to capture the moment.

People Reading the "Atheist Bible" and Laughing by you.
Yeah, I'm super-sly with a flashless camera. Unfortunately my photo doesn't really capture them cracking up very well.

And here's a better look at the source of their hysterics.


And now I realize it isn't actually a bible for atheists, but a collection of quotes challenging organized religion. I think I need a copy, I know the PTA would not approve.



Miss Fi said...


I've got to check that book out

Arizaphale said...

Hiya! Just over from A Free Man and delighted by this post :-D
I teach in a Christian school, my daughter attends another and as small 'c' liberal christians we sometimes find ourselves tripping over our secular backgrounds. Now, as she enters adolescence with gusto, much of the dogma is coming home for dinner table discussion. Unfortunately I think it may also be being raised in Bible classes :-D Works for me!tospoto

Arizaphale said...

Er...tospoto was the word verification.
Italian wanker?

Gypsy said...

I remember growing up here in the south that Jew were very exotic creatures. We had like one in the whole town. Ok, probably more. But not by much.

SuperMindy said...

I think I would prefer a teacher that disciplines my kids than a teacher that teaches them nonsense about things that do not exist.

Of course i'm an atheist.

Corrina said...

I didn't even know that book existed. How silly of me. lol

JD at I Do Things said...

I just edited a great book called "50 Reasons People Give for Believing in God." The author, a scientist, takes on all the reasons people typically give for believing in God, and then basically bashes them into pieces.

Quite a good read!

jpck said...

I would love a copy of that book! Haha!

A Free Man said...

It's true about wanting what we don't have. After being raised a Protestant I went through a five year Catholic phase before getting sick of the whole organized religion thing entirely. You've got to admire their curiosity!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Miss Fi- Me too.

Arizaphale- So as a teacher at a Christian school-- just out of curiousity-- is my viewpoint in this post kind of offensive? Just wondering. Thanks!

Gypsy- Yeah, we mostly stay in South Florida. When I lived in Tampa I saw a lot of confederate flags-- scary.

Mindy- You might change your mind if you had kids and saw someone treating them like that. You can always teach your kids at home what you think of organized religion, etc. You can't erase the hurt of someone talking to them all day like a dog. I emailed you last night to see if you were free today-- I probably was too late huh?

Corrina- Yep, there's something for everyone.

JD- I'd love to read both. You would not believe how expensive books are in Australia-- it's weird.

JPCK- Me too.

Free Man- I know I don't actually KNOW you, but somehow I can't imagine you a Catholic. Some of my closest friends are Catholic, but they fall more into the non-practicing except on special occasions category.

Marvin the Martian said...

That is hilarious.

The Jehovah's Witnesses seem to think our area is rife with potential for saving damned souls.

My wife, unwilling to be saved by the JHs, always thanks them for coming to our door, "but we're Buddhist."

That always stops them cold. They just say "thank you very much" and leave.

It's interesting that they're unprepared to deal with non-Christian theology. I would lump Catholicism in the non-Christian category, myself. ;-)

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Marvin- I know, those Jehovah's Witnesses are hard to get rid of-- they ring the doorbell, we say no thanks, and five minutes later another set of them ring.

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Hehehehe, you said bad jew. That's what I call the Christ Loving Jew

Elsja said...


And I guess based on Mindy's comment- if you don't want your kids taught any sort of religion, probably not a a good idea to put them in a Christian school ;)

Have any of you seen the movie Zeitgeist??

I am a christian and this movie REALLY got me thinking. It's weird at first but really is pretty interesting.

Ty Gunner said...

RE: bad jew

A rabbi mentioned to me it’s not as important to be in temple, but what is important are the choices you make outside of temple. He does not judge by the frequency of attendance, but how you treat others and support what is essential in Judaism- the relationship to the Jewish community.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Elsja-- I guess it's pretty ridiculous to put your kids at Christian school and not expect a little Jesus at home- haha. I just read a summary of the movie and it looks like something I would be into... though I do support that everyone should believe what they believe--- or whatever gets someone thru the day.

Ty- good jew? bad jew? who knew?

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

My 10th grader's first introduction to the creation story was this year when he read Genesis in his English class.

With no prompting from me, he determined the ridiculousness of it.

Christine said...

Uhoh... My problems all started with the Christian school when my son came home with a book about dinosaurs and man living together on Earth and a note from the teacher explaining that I needed to make sure my son "understood" this. It was the beginning of the end. I hope it goes way better for you. =)

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Fantasy Life- My kids won the "Chapel trophy"-- wow, doesn't get much better than that right?

Christine- Was that in FL?

the little travelers said...

Religion can be so funny... my girls' father went to Catholic school taught by nuns and we attend a groovy 'spiritual, non-religious' church where no religions are mentioned- so they don't know what a 'christian or a jew even are.
Then a few months ago we went to Iran- so I sort of had to explain a bit about Islam as we were privy to all their laws of dress and what not. So a few weeks ago their dad took them ice-skating and there was a Catholic nun in a habit on the ice and one of my girls says, "Look at the Muslim woman in her chador ice-skaing." Their dad nearly fell over laughing thinking back to his own childhood imagining himself confusing a Muslim with a nun. It's all funny!