It's but on rare occasion that I will publicly talk smack about my husband, but today is going to give you a little glimpse into the chaotic, and sometimes hilarious lives of Florida Girl and Mr. Florida Girl.
A little about us:
I am fast girl. Fast, fast, fast, let's get a move on. I can get my kids dressed, fed, and out the door in twenty minutes.
My husband is slow and methodical. He's side-tracked easily and needs time to think all things through properly before taking action. Needless to say, I wouldn't hold your breath if you're waiting on him to dress, feed, and/or do anything with the children.
So this morning, stopped at the traffic light near our house, we were the third vehicle in line for a left turn. The arrow changes to green and no one moves. After a few seconds I'm all, "Give 'em a honk." Of course my husband DOES. NOT. WANT. TO. He is totally anti-honking. He is emphatic in his belief that "Honking means I'm here'." In my book honking could mean that, and/or it could mean, "Pay attention dumbass." or "The light is green, freaking go!"
We're still at the light, no one is turning-- my husband gently gives the horn a little peck, such a little tap that no actual sound is made. And the reality is that there is just no way in hell he's going to honk the effing horn. Finally, shocked the light hasn't turned red yet, I lean over and lay it on the horn. And guess what, the cars turned. No one was mad, no one got out of their car and came after us, no one even gave us the finger. Unfortunately, though it was all in good fun, my husband did not at all appreciate my helping him with the horn, I think his exact words were, "Don't ever touch the steering wheel when I'm driving!".
Later this afternoon, we were the first car stopped at a light. My husband didn't notice the light had turned green, and we were honked at. Now personally, if I don't notice the greenage, I hope someone honks at me, because I want to get where I'm going, and as quickly as possible. And when it's all said and done, I knew he was glad they honked too.
And I'm hoping that today's events will change his honkin' attitude, but if not, if he continues to not honk when honking is required, I will lean over, and I will honk that horn, even though it makes him so incredibly angry... because that's how I roll, and I think it's kind of fun in a bizarre, perverse way.
**Update: My husband just said it's my horn's fault, for being too hard to honk.
Apparently, he would have honked it-- if he could have.