Thursday, July 2, 2009

Ants in my Pants and Slugs in my Uggs

Mother effing ants.

As I sit here typing, I'm armed with my camera ready to capture the gravity of the situation. They crawl across my keyboard, they daringly trek upon my arm, and they enthusiastically pile up upon anything which resembles food. My kitchen sink is like a skateboard park for them.

When an ant enters my my line of vision I grab a Puffs with Aloe tissue and heartlessly go in for the kill; they end up flattened and moisturized.

DSC_0626 by you.

DSC_0623 by you.
That's a card from the exterminator with ant bait gel on it, yum.

The over-the-counter discs of death seemed an easy way to wage our war on ant infestation. Bait was put out, and in classic ant trickery they bring their deadly, yet delicious, finds back to the nest. After a few days the baits were no longer drawing big crowds, we felt victorious and relieved, enough so that we were even able to make a sandwich on the kitchen counter in peace. But lo and behold, within 48 hours the ants were back, and they looked pissed.

Last night I went to take a shower and the bigger and more daunting looking "soldier" ants had come out of the nest. My assumption is that the coup is working (for us), and hopefully the pion ants are dead so the big boys were coming out to show us who's boss. Did I mention that the exterminator said that the larger ants fly? Wtf? Needless to say, giant ants were on the bathroom ceiling, floor and counters-- it was like an ant freakshow. There were also several on their backs in my bathroom sink which appeared to be fighting for their lives. As I stared in disgust at the situation, a giant ant drops into the sink. I look up. I realize the ones in the sink had actually fallen from the ceiling which was covered. This unfortunate discovery sent me running out of the bathroom, and I spent the rest of the night wondering if there were any in my hair. I'm still scratching myself all over like an ape and I'm somewhat scared to go to sleep tonight because every morning something new is covered in ants, and tomorrow it could be me.

The good news is that during my numerous visits from the pest control company they have given me the ant 411 (that's American for information). We have Coastal Brown Ants, and these bad boys, all forty freaking million of them, are living in the walls of our house.

And as long as I'm bitching about pests in the house...

We have an awesome built-in planter in the new house. Unfortunately it too is home to some unwanted new friends... about a hundred slugs. I read on the internet that they are attracted to yeast. It said to put beer in a deep container near them, they will go in for a drink, and won't be able to get out. Apparently I have smart, agile, and now drunk slugs. They drank the beer, then went home, passed out, and came back the next night looking for more.

Getting Slugs Drunk on Beer by you.

Our Slugs, Unforutnately by you.

I've decided to focus on the ants (since they bite), so the slugs are getting a pass this week.



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26 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Yikes!! I've been having an ant situation myself around here. Whenever it rains, it gets worse! I read somewhere that the ant traps are no good because it draws more ants toward the bait. I found this AWESOME all natural ant killer at my grocery store and it works like a charm! It kills them on contact. It's made with a bunch of different oils (eucalyptus, spearmint, wintergreen etc.)so I think it even smells good. I picked it up because it's safe for pets and I didn't want to accidentally kill the dog! ;-) Oh, and I also read somewhere that you should never kill an ant (smooshing them with a tissue) because it then gives off some kind of pheromone that the rest of the colony can smell, and then they all come to rally against the killer.

Ok, I can't stop itching now. Good luck with your war!! ;-)

Brutalism said...

aaaahhhhhh! I do like the visual of the moisturized dead ants and the inebriated slugs sleeping it off...

After all of the to-do from PETA after Obama swatted a fly a couple of weeks ago, I'd keep this all on the down low...

Felicia said...

Living in the WALLS of your house? Geez. How scary and creepy! I hope you can get rid of them soon.
I waged a battle of my own for about 2 years ago. I would plug a hole and they would find another way in. It was a nightmare. Nowhere near as bad as what you described though. Yikes.
I'm itchy now.

Kristie said...

If they were living in the walls of my house and dropping from the ceiling, I would be moving. Gotta love the drunken slugs.

rinniez said...

ewww eeww ewwwwwww ewwwwwwww i dont know how you are still in that house... sounds like something from a horror film... Revenge of The Ants and the sequel Revenge of The Slugs.
eeekkkk! hope you can get rid of them asap! xx

A Free Man said...

It's too dry here for slugs, but we get more than out fair share of ants. I spent the summer battling the bastards. And I don't go for this natchy shit - give me the hardcore poison!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Chitown- I know it's like you think they're crawling on you-- awful.

Brutalism- Yes at least their skin is so so soft.

Felicia- Oh no-- 2 years-- ugh!

Rinniez- I know, wanna come over?

FreeMan- I hate bug spray-- but looks like hardcore poison is the only mf option.

ian said...

Ants on the ceiling.....cikey...sounds like an Indiana Jones film...

Can't help you on the ants but I do know that slugs don't like salt - it dries them up apparently. Or put broken eggshells around the plant - unless that will attract the ants. Then there would be an ant vs slug battle......

Teresi Family Oz Blog said...

They got drunk and came back for more. What do you expect, they're Australian. Ha Ha. Disclaimer - I can say that I'm an Aussie.

Mama Bird said...

We used Ant Rid when we lived in Australia and it worked perfectly and got rid of our ants. If you want something organic, my Mom uses 50% vinegar and 50% water with a few drops of dishwashing liquid and says it works a treat.

As for slugs, you can also sprinkle oats around where they are. They will eat them and it will dehydrate them and kill them. This also works with ants.

Good luck. I hate both ants and slugs. But at least it's not cockroaches. That is one pest I CANNOT deal with. Gross.

hereinfranklin said...

Ewwww. Didn't you just move into this place? Can't you threaten the realtor or something for nondisclosure of pests and vermin? And isn't it winter there? I thought bugs went away in the winter. But, on the bright side, at least it's not bats.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Ian- I have heard about the salt, but now that I'm used to them, I'm not so sure I should kill them.

Ana- Did you like the slug show tonight?

MamaBird- I was not aware of the oatmeal trick-- I'll have to think about that.

Here in Franklin- Yes, at least it's not bats-- and I'm assuming you say that because you saw my post about the bet invasion?? I hope so, or else you are totally a psychic.

steck said...

The solution is to keep a container of melted chocolate handy -- choco-covered ants are yummy!

And speaking of ants, the American and Canadian expat groups on Meetup.com are having a North American Solidarity picnic at Centennial Park at 11 a.m. on Sunday, July 12. The more, the merrier (ants excepted).

-- Paul

JD at I Do Things said...

Flying ants . . . ?

I just died a little bit.

hereinfranklin said...

Hah--I must be physic, because I don't remember that post. However, a few days ago something with wings flew into my hair and got stuck there. It was a baby bird, but at first I thought it was a bat. I guess I'm a little obsessed.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Steck= That does sound delicious. Hmmm, I'll have to go on meetup.com-- we had plans for Sunday with other expat bloggers!

JD- I'm sorry, I know it's wrong.

Hereinfranklin- You were channeling my thoughts??

Gypsy said...

I'm pretty sure there's a mouse in my house. This is not ok.

Rassles said...

"Slugs in my Uggs"

PAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It's funny because you're in Australia.

PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

This is me, pointing out the obvious.

ZODDERM!

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Gypsy-- I'll keep the ants, you keep the mouse. Makes you glad you have your own problems and not someone else's right?

Rassles- I know.. UGGS, like UGGS Australia-- sometimes I really crack myself up. ba hahaha

Angel said...

I have spiders in my really old house. Tiny spiders. Ants, too, of course.

Melissa said...

OMG how do you do it? I would die. In fact, I thought Iw as going to, in my dreams last night. I have a massive bug fear. And I read your post yesterday. And last night I dreamed I was fillin up the bathtub and out of the drain come of the army of ants. And some slugs. Not happiness. I would seriously be thinking baout moving, AND want my deposit back!

Marvin the Martian said...

Wow, you've got it worse than we ever had it, and I thought we had ants BAD. Thank God for pyrethrins by the bucket.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Angel- I had Huntsmen spiders in my old house like once or twice a month-- those beasts will scare the hell out of you-- hopefully yours are a little smaller!

Melissa- I actually am not even trying to get rid of the slugs they're my new housemates who only come out at night- ewww.

Marvin- And I thought we had finally got rid of the ants and now they're back.

Dina said...

I'm sorry...but your drunk slugs made me smile.

I'm sorry they're giving you a hard time, but they are kind of cute.

Ants are a pain. We haven't had problems with them in our house for awhile (knock on wood!!!)

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Dina- How could drunk slugs not make someone smile, right?

Jill Stevens, Licensed Acupuncturist, Chinese Herbalist said...

gross. seriously gross.