Friday, September 26, 2008

He's Ba-ack

I was chillin' with my little boys on the couch, watching the most bizarre childrens show in the universe, when my doorbell rang. The townhouse we rent has a doorbell that you answer by picking up a videophone; you see who's there, then you can buzz them in. I wasn't expecting anyone, but ocassionally Australia Post comes in the late afternoon, whatever.

Me: "Hello?"

Dude: "Yeah, I'm the guy who rang your doorbell last year. I left something in the garage attic and I need to come in and get it."

Holy shit! This is the prior occupant of our house, who tried to break in a year ago to get the "stuff" he left in here.

Me: "Sorry, I can't help you".

Dude: "I need to come in now."

Me: "I'm calling the police, I'd recommend you leave now."

Last year the police officer gave us a business card to call should Jeremy show up here again. Being that the card was in a drawer somewhere I called 000 (that's Australian for 911).

An hour and a half later they showed up, an hour and a half... what the hell? I guess it's a good thing Jeremy didn't try coming in a door or window like last time.

The officer was a condescending jackass.

Our unproductive conversation included exchanges such as:

Him: Do you know this guy?
Me: Yes, he did this exact same thing a year ago last month.
Him: I'm not talking about a year ago, I'm talking about today.
Me: But, you asked if I knew him.

His brilliant advice to me was: use an alarm, keep your doors locked, never let a stranger in. Duh, thanks.

I'm still shaking with post-traumatic situation adrenaline.
I think it's time for tequila or something stronger.
I'm out.



Suz said...

That is horrible. The guy is a mess...looking for some crack? Desperate. You should keep a weapon (bat or sharp knife) handy in case he catches you off guard. shank the idiot.
Do you have a dog? maybe a recording of a dog barking the next time he comes will help too...just a thought.
Good luck

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

We keep wondering if there's money up in the garage attic.

I'm ready to get a dog-- I'll have to break it to my husband.

Gypsy said...

That's really creepy! I hope he doesn't make a repeat visit.

JD at I Do Things said...

Man, that's scary (as was the original encounter -- tho I did appreciate the Melrose Place clip!) Thanks, police! It's good to know they're so helpful. Did you happen to mention the possibility of METH? Maybe that would get their attention. Brrr. Stay safe.

JD at I Do Things

A Free Man said...

Man, that is some scary shit. Have you looked around up there to see what's there? I'm curious! Dog's a good idea, though if he's like mine he'll be useless. Big sook.

I was trying to find posts about our decision to move to Oz, try this one:

But actually, I've never properly written one, maybe I'll have to...

traceyleigh said...

I'm so curious too as to what is up there, but how very very scary for you. It sounds as though the place has good security, but still! Bloody police. Can you not ring the guy that gave you his card? Good idea about getting the dog.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

We really do need to get up in that attic and see whassup.

I mentioned the dog to my husband last night-- looks like I'm going to have to work on that one. Hard.

JD- That Melrose clip is always a stunner right?

Free Man- I'm going to look at your link now.

Marketing Mama said...

Wow - that's crazy that he came back. Have you actually gone up to check the attic? You totally should...

Pamela Rose said...

Besides the fact that Jeremy only rings the doorbell (polite isn't he?), have the authorities actually ever checked out the garage attic? With the many times they used to come by when he was living there, isn't it possible it's already been checked? Did the police, last year, ever say he's harmless or not? Maybe, with a friend for support, you should actually check the garage attic. Isn't it funny that Jeremy only has dropped by twice in 15 months? Getting a recording of a dag barking is a good idea, eh?

Ree said...

Oh mah Holy Hell! Have you looked in the attic to see what it is he's looking for?

Jill Stevens, Licensed Acupuncturist, Chinese Herbalist said...

so i thought the neighbors cat ate whatever was up there already. you should just tell him that- so he'll leave you alone. unless of course he'd just go after the cat for it- and that would just be cruel. anyway- f a dog, get a gun.

Jill Stevens, Licensed Acupuncturist, Chinese Herbalist said...

btw what's a dag bark sound like?

Christine said...

oh my God. That's horrific. I'd get the dog and say, "I don't know where the dog came from, but now we have to keep him", or something to that effect. yikes.

Ali said...

Hi, I know you are not in Florida now, but maybe your mom has received this hate DVD thing....therfore I posted a campaign about the 28 Million Hate DVD distributed in the US ( appreciate if you can do the same

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Marketing Mama & Ree- Nope we haven't gone there yet-- the thing is there's no ladder, and my husband is not one for going up into attics, that kind of put it in my hands.

Pamela Rose- You need to put on your listening ears-- he rang twice mommy. It is beyond weird that in 15 months he has only rang the bell on two occasions... unless there's been other times and we weren't here?

Jill- a dag barks like this waaf waaf.

Christine- Actually I came up with a plan today-- next time my husband thinks he's right and we "make a bet" about it-- my winning item will be the puppy. This is a regular occurrence around here, so it won't be long now. Hahahaha

Ali- Most of my readers are expats and just other various people who are mostly not in Florida. I'm unfamiliar with the DVD, and cannot post a link to something I'm so ignorant about. I hope you understand. By the way, are you planning/wanting to move back to Florida?

Ali said...

Hey, sure I'd love go back to Florida soon, it's my favourite state, I like it's people and their kidness and I love the diversity. Don't worry about the Hate DVD, buy hey have a look at my link if you got the time.

Marvin the Martian said...

I'm glad you are okay! It sounds like the coppers there follow the British model of "blame the victim." That's why British and Aussie crime is as high as it is - the police punish the citizens because it's a heck of a lot easier than actually catching criminals and punishing THEM. Sigh. When do you come back? Florida misses you.

Oh, and clearly you have some valuable contraband in your attic. I'll send some of my minions right over to pick it up. ;-)

Marvin the Martian said...

BTW, I love your new header graphic. Very cute.

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Ali- See and I always think of Florida people as being very cranky-- well specifically South Florida, I didn't feel that way in Orlando.

Marvin- Thanks so much. Do you have a big ladder?

Ali said...

Well people in South Florda in particular are recent immigrants (with respect to all new immigrants) and usualy not yet characterized as Americans or what I would say they didn't yet hold the good American traits and spirits such as greeting your neighbor and decent customer service, but after a while you stop noticing this, as they are good people as well

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Ali- That's so funny, I was referring to the cranky retired New Yorkers!! The people from Cuba, Haiti, etc.-- we were all in the same boat having to deal with the old New Yorkers.

When you grow up in South Florida most of us just consider Cubans to be native Floridians-- we were all one big happy family. The senior citizens however... not so much!

All the Jews and Cubans marry each other anyway (at least in my friends and family circles).