Friday, June 20, 2008

It's Complicated

You're damn right it is Denise.
Not sure how many people have seen this Denise Richards: It's Complicated...
Um, raise your hand?

If you are watching it in America (that's Australian for "The U.S."), I feel bad for you, because they probably bleep out all the bad words- which really make the show. You can only imagine how much better it is on E! in Australia-- with all of the swearing, which gives you a real sense of the many facets of Denise. That biatch has quite a mouth on her.

Okay, whether or not you've had the pleasure of "getting to know the real Denise"-- there is something raw here. It's how each of us is a different person to the many people in our lives. If you are thinking "wtf" right about now, I feel ya. And no, I have not overdosed on Rescue Remedy or hit the pipe today-- I'm just putting this wild concept out there-- we mirror the people are we interacting with-- and we are different people with each of them. Even if you think you don't... listen now, and listen good-- you do.
  • Mommy-- it's all: snuggles, kisses, DO NOT TOUCH THAT DISGUSTING TOILET SEAT IN THE PUBLIC BATHROOM, take your hand out of your mouth, don't touch your brother, if you walk nicely to the car I have teddy bears cookies waiting for you, how did I ever get so lucky to have two boys as cute as youuuuuu, stop kicking my seat- I'm trying to drive.
  • Wife-- it's all barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen-- What? Aren't you too? Oh please.
  • Executive Wife-- the wife you are when you're not alone with the man, who in the workplace is the man.
  • Sister, she my girl.
  • Friend to my old friends-- it's all: the girls and guys you can really be real with, my homies.
  • Friend to my new friends-- it's all: preschool mummies (that's Australian for mommies) and playgrounds.
  • Daughter-- blahbity, blah, blah, blah
  • Cousin Girl- the person you are with extended family
  • Phony Neighbor-- Um, no I don't really understand how you ripped out that wheelchair ramp because it was touching your driveway-- even though that girl in the wheelchair needs it get into her building-- but sure... I'll take in your mail for you. (Yes, that's a true story).
  • CEO of Household Affairs- Um, yes-- if a bird shits on the bathmat that was hanging outside to dry-- we need to wash it again-- even if it was just washed (another true story).
Seriously, I think I could go on and on-- oh right, I already have-- way too much apparently.
Maybe sometimes all these facets of me come together as if we are all the same person, but other times I think if only the in-laws knew friend to old friends girl. Or if only, my sister could meet me as phony neighbor girl, I think she'd smack me in the head for taking in their mail.
Uh, I would too.

Obviously, this is complicated.

It wouldn't be right not to post a cute picture right

Update: June 30th- I hate this blog posting. I may delete it soon.
Update July 22nd- Still thinking about it.



Dina said...

Another brilliant post.

Jill is totally right.

You have the best blog ever.

I think you're going to be famous one day.

I feel there are so many sides to me too. I guess we all feel that way. But you're the best at expressing it.

floridagirlinsydney said...

Seriously dude, don't let me find out she lives in Sydney-- just wanna make sure you heard me :)

Jill said...

wait - don't let you find out who lives in sydney? denise richards? is that lady that was married to that drug addict in hollywood whose name i can't think of and left him right after their new baby was born and then started dating some other loser? i have never seen the show- but it sounds right up my alley- but of course only with the swear words. i love you.

Dina said...

We're going to be spending most of our nights at our friend Medina's house. If she'll have us back (and give us a decent price!)

We look forward to staying with you guys and we look forward to Tracey in Tasmania.

You're too cute.

Dina said...


When are you going to start your blog?

I'm waiting!!!!!

Jill said...

I just nominated you for bloggers choice awards in 4 categories- best humor, best parenting, best blog ever, and best blog about stuff. its not quite up yet- they have to verify it or something. but i'll let you know when it goes up- then every one can vote for you. <3

karrine said...

Great blog.
You have an amazing way of writing that just makes everything you say interesting and i cant get enough!

Ty Gunner said...

How did you do it?? Even with the unedited language, how did you manage to sit through the Denise "I need people to pay attention to me" Richards show? I had to hit the Gong within 30 seconds. Yeah, the Gong Show Gong. Long live Chuck Barris!!!