Friday, September 19, 2008

Things Worth Telling

My friend O'Neal the Woman in Charge has "tagged" me to expose six things about myself.

She inspired me with the interesting and revealing things she had to say about herself, so here it goes..

Thanks O'Neal the Real Deal, watch out for that banana peel.

Six things about me:
  1. I had a breast reduction. The tatas were just too damn big and luscious, I couldn't stop people from looking at them and wanting to touch them. I chopped those puppies off.
  2. When I lived with my Irish Catholic Boyfriend, I used to cut a button off one of his business shirts when I was angry and leave it hanging in the closet to be discovered when he'd eventually go to wear it. This happened numerous times and he never figured it out.
  3. My daddy's a gay fugitive.
  4. This weekend we are doing the Sydney Marathon's Family Fun Run, the Sydney Harbor Bridge will be closed to cars and and we will get to walk across it. This is mostly interesting because I am the laziest bitch ever.
  5. I am jealous of my sister's rockin' bod and her becoming a Pediatric Acupuncturist, she's always out achieving stuff.
  6. I've deleted my original number six in the interest of what's best for America. Bummer huh?
I am supposed to "tag" other people to do this... but bucking the authorities has always been a hobby of mine, so I figured it would be best to just have anyone reading this post a secret or something surprising about themselves in the comments. I get excited reading people's secrets.



A Free Man said...

I think Sarah Palin is one of the least sexy attractive women I've ever seen. But then Fundamental Christian doesn't really turn my crank.

floridagirlinsydney said...

Hey Free Man- Ya know, I really didn't think she was hot either-- until watching her on that horrible Fox News Greta Van Sustren special. But I have to say that her midwestern accent combined with her no nonsense kind of style sucked me in.

Maybe I'm still bummed Hillary didn't get the VP spot. Sour grapes?

floridagirlinsydney said...

By the way a free man-
You didn't leave me something about you as instructed-- well actually I guess you did.

Corrina said...

Margaret Cho has a crush on Sarah Palin too! If you Google that, prepare yourself for some GRAPHIC details... LOL

O'Neal (The woman in charge around here) said...

YAY! You did it! I was kinda thinking it would be like one of those gay ass chain letter emails with teddy bears and hearts and everyone would just ignore my requests!

I swear they need to come up with some kind of donor matching list for women that want a breast reduction and the flat chested ones wanting boobs. I wonder if you can donate breast tissue? Living most of my life being a triple AAA flat I could never understand why women who actually were blessed with boobage would want them smaller. I guess it's always greener!

I have a new obsession with Australia after finding my latest crush Kelley over at Magneto Bold Too. The whole time and season thing just blows my mind! Which brings me to my burning question, does Santa wear a Speedo? I just can't seem to wrap my mind around a hot Christmas!

floridagirlinsydney said...

O'Neal Woman in Charge--

Yes, hot summer Christmas is only the tip of the iceberg.

Light switches- down is on and up is off.

The steering wheel is on the right side of the car, and we drive on the left side of the road.

EVERYTHING is the opposite here! It's just freaking nutty.

By the way, thanks for tagging me!

floridagirlinsydney said...

ONeal- Forgot to tell you that I am calling the itty bitty titty committee and seeing what we can do to bag up all that boobage and send it to those in need.

Rassles said...

I am obsessed with dryer lint. Especially when I get to peel off a bunch of layers.

Pearl Maple said...

Just joined the expat womens site and following the links to all the blogs down under, you have a lot of fun things going on here. Hope you are having a great weekend.

Suz said...

"I am jealous of my sister's rockin' bod and her becoming a Pediatric Acupuncturist, she's always out achieving stuff while I do very little that's meaningful and productive."
That is ALL in your mind girl. Get over it. We are all special.....
Sarah Palin is a great looking woman. really. I am not THAT way at all. :)

Jill Stevens, Licensed Acupuncturist, Chinese Herbalist said...

1. Who is o'neal and why is she in charge?
2. you have 2 kids, a husband, and not scared if you buy groceries you won't be able to pay rent. i am lonely, broke, and work too much. not sure the rockin' bod is really working for me.
3. i have 2 cats that i would have married had it been legal.
4. 1 & 2 are not about me. (and now 4 isn't either)
5. i think sarah palin is thoroughly disgusting - but if you got all gay for her i'd still support you, cuz i love you that much.
6. my dad is also a gay fugitive.


7. i secretly wish bank of america was going under instead of washington mutual- cuz maybe they'd lose all the paper work that says i owe them all that money.

Ty Gunner said...

Regarding Governor Sarah, her sexiness is maintained as long as she keep her mouth shut. Any suggestions on how to accomplish this?

Dirty Pirate Hooker said...

Well, I posted most of my secrets over at the whore O'neal's blog...

Hmmmm...what else could I say???

I sit with my hand in my pants when I watch tv and I'm pretty sure I think about sex more than any other female on earth.

Tors said...

You want some juicy secrets, huh.

1. I'll see your gay fugitive dad and raise you a convicted child molester.

2. I'm in a mixed orientation marriage.

3. My oldest son is autistic. Instead of normal speech, he walks around repeating whatever you say. He also likes to sing TV ads, over and over and over and over. Reminds me of that guy in that movie, Inner Space.

4. I'm probably autistic too.

5. My youngest son has growth hormone deficiencies. He's a 17-month-old in the body of a 10-month-old. Makes for interesting conversations when strangers ask how old he is.

One more? OK...

6. I need a breast reduction.

floridagirlinsydney said...

I had made a rather lengthy comment here and now I don't see it-- damn!!
Ok let me try to recreate it with an update:

Rassles- Who isn't?

Pearl Maple- Thanks for stopping by, I'm going to check out your expat experience!

Suz- Yes, I must have been having some crazy hormonal moment-- I deleted the "meaningful" part. You wanna get some of that with Palin too?

Jill- Thanks for being you. Btw, I don't think 3 days in November is going to be enough, what are we going to do, that seems kind of crazy. Land of the Mouse with us?

Ty- Actually I think it was THE WAY she speaks that makes me want her. But I'm over it now-- for the good of our country.

DPH- That's hot. Are you an the GOK really ever going to meet? Or is it all just a big sexy internet fantasy?

Tors- And here I am thinking I must be nutty to expose my stuff-- thanks for joining in. I wish you were still blogging. You've totally sucked me in, and I'd love to hear you expand on all that.

I'd also love your opinion regarding whether you think vaccinations play a roll in autism.

Btw- my breast reduction was covered 100% by health insurance-- I think it was if they were removing at least 1 pound from each of the puppies it was covered as they were detrimental to posture and "pendulous"-- sounds hot right?

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Corrina- I need to find that Margaret Cho thing on youtube.

Marketing Mama said...

#2 is hilarious!
Did you ever feel guilty later? :)

Florida Girl In Sydney said...

Marketing Mama- not guilty enough to prevent it happening again. Though luckily I've outgrown all that. My husband was cracking up about that one.